Didn't feel like eating rice today, and just felt like being by myself, so I had a Subway for lunch. Everyone else wanted to eat mixed rice, as expected. Today's special is the Tuna Sub. I actually wanted a subway today because I have a craving for their chocolate chip cookie. Their chocolate chip cookies are big and soft and taste exactly like the ones I bake. I really should start baking again, except I don't know where to place my electric oven in my not-so-new apartment. Plus tuna is a milk-booster for me, and feel like I need a booster, since my milk production has somewhat decreased lately. Producing less milk makes me feel so sad. :( Sophie's only 9 months, and I'm wondering if I can still continue to breast feed her until 2 years the way I planned.
On top of that, I'm feeling down because... 1n2d as we know it with Jiwon and Seunggi has ended. Ya, I cried a little watching the final episode. But it was without subs, so I will probably cry more once the subbed version is aired. And ironically, Jiwon and Seunggi were the only 2 members who were "forced" to sign "lifetime" contracts with the show! It's such a weird feeling, knowing that the maknae and the choding are growing up and leaving the nest. Felt like I was the parent, and my house is all empty now.
But on a happier note, I have started open communication with Salma. As in talking to her as if she's old enough to understand day-to-day things. And funnily enough, Sophie started to join in with her "grown-up" babbling noises. She'll make sounds as if she agrees, "uhh" and say things in a sing-song way as if she's mimicking the way we speak. But overall, Salma is calmer once we started talking. Fewer tantrums. She tells me about her day now, the way it really takes place, and leaves out those "imaginary" things she thinks took place or wanted to take place. And I'm really proud and happy about this progress. Because there was a long period of time (maybe about one year), where Salma would make things up that never happened and would insist that they did happen. It got pretty bad to the point where she would insist that I had bought her a certain toy (but I hadn't) and would throw a fit when the toy couldn't be found anywhere. At some point, I thought that she behaved this way because she could not tell the difference between reality and dreams she had in her sleep. But later on, I realised the situations were a result of imaginary games that she played when she is by herself. (I happened to overhear a conversation that she was having with her imaginary friend which involved the same stuff she would insist I had done for her).
I wondered for a long time why she would throw tantrums over things that did not take place, but then I realised that she found comfort in those things, and instead of arguing with her and telling her that the event did not take place, we'd just talk about it. For example, she really insisted that I had bought her this Dora toy. And she can't find it now. So, instead of getting mad, and insisting that I did not buy it for her, I would instead, ask her how does it look like? How would you play with it? What feelings does she get when she played with it? Then I'd try my best to replicate those emotions with her existing toys or books. It was difficult to do at first, but now she seems to understand what I'm trying to do and is more cooperative.
Nowadays, I find that talking while coloring in her coloring books is the best combination to make her calm and happy (tantrum-free). After a nice bath. We do this a lot now. Her little sister, too, will want to join in and color. This always puts a smile on my face, but annoys Salma, who thinks that her sister is too little to do anything. One time, Sophie colored over the picture that Salma already colored, and Salma got really upset. But I told her that Sophie wanted to be just like her big sister, and that seemed to make her feel better.
Sophie, too, has games that she plays with her sister, but I'm not sure if Salma understood that it is a game. Sophie likes to play the "run and hide" game with Salma. Of course, Sophie can't run yet, so she does her own equivalent of running (crawling/scrambling fast), and diving in between some pillows or diving into mummy's lap when Salma is about to enter the room. Then Sophie will giggle when her sister "discovers" her. One time, Sophie "ran" to hide behind the coffee table, and did it so fast that she bumped her head against the armchair. But she was laughing so hard that she forgot that she had bumped her head. Salma said, "Silly Wobbage!" I actually can't wait for Sophie to grow up and start speaking real words to her sister. :)