Everytime my baby gets sick, my heart goes out to her. She's all helpless and unable to tell me in words where she's aching, and what's upsetting her. I can only guess and try to comfort her as best as I can. Salma had a fever on Sunday night, so I stayed in Monday to take care of her. She was so weak with no energy to play, she'd just lie down or nurse, or sleep. And I knew she wanted me to bring her everywhere I went. I wonder why our maternal instincts kick in when our babies are sick, but it's not so much for fathers? I'm quite surprised that my husband was oblivious to it all, and was not as concerned as I was about her being ill. For instance, their bodies don't automatically stay up at night to watch over a sick child. Why is that? He wondered why last night I was not able to sleep. I wonder if their paternal instincts start to wear off or something...
It's funny today too, because it's as if my maternal instincts were on overdrive... I usually bring my mobile phone to the lactation room so that I can achieve "let down" by staring at my baby's photos while I'm on the pump. And yesterday, I had taken a photo of her sleeping pitifully on her side, a photo of her at her "sickest" so to speak. This morning while I was in the lactation room, I chose to gaze at this very same photo, and without realising it, I was able to pump 4 oz in 15 minutes! It's as if looking at that photo of my baby being so helpless caused my body to pump out milk at top speed!
I could not sleep much last night because I was busy trying to keep her fever down. And now I feel awful that I'm at work instead of taking care of her. I don't think this dilemma ever ends for mothers. And maybe fathers only get in this mode if they are single parents. I really wish Dad would take up his share of the burden of caring for her when she's ill without having to be asked. I wish this for all moms out there! It would certainly help to take a load off my mind!
It's lunch time soon and I am very tired from lack of sleep. I think I'll take a nap and eat later? It's tough being a working mom. :(
