Monday, October 26, 2009

The way life goes

I walk into the office today and straight away I feel like I really shouldn't be here. I should be spending more time with my kid. Waking up late with her, and lounging around on the bed, reading books. I am really tired at the end of the day when I pick her up, and by the time I reach home, I just want to sleep. Because of fatigue, I think she is getting less attention from me, and it's causing her to act up, just to get my attention. She's even start to act up when she wakes up in the middle of the night. Grumbling and crying, which she never used to do unless she had a stomach ache. Now she does it to complain to me that I'm not hugging her enough. She will merajuk and push away my teat.

I really want this misbehavior to stop. She's starting to merajuk a lot in school also. I miss those days when she can play by herself without needing any attention from me. What am I doing wrong? I hope that soon I can spend more time with her than before. And do stuff that we love together, and also start doing some new things that we haven't done before. Like take walks at the park, just the two of us. And maybe go swimming. She has never went swimming in a big pool before. Maybe we can do some art activities like handpainting.

The separation anxiety is really taking a toll on my patience. I'm going through so much work stress that I am at risk of losing my temper with her at the end of the day when she starts crying each time I put her down. I don't understand why when she knows I am in the kitchen while she is in the living room, she still insists on crying and asking me to pick her up. I'm within her peripheral vision!

It just goes to show that being there is no such thing as not enough attention.

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