Ani DiFranco said that her baby "...teaches me how to just be in my skin, to do less and be more."
Those words sort of inspire me now. I would love to do less and be more for my child. Hahahahahaha... how can I get like that? I suppose what it means is if I were a real genius, I would be able to do less (through creating a super efficient process for getting everything done) and be more of a good mom for my kid. Or, for Ani, it would be producing music at its most basic level best and have it be a wonderful piece with having less stuff, just music (maybe just guitar and vocals as opposed to keyboards, drums, bass, etc), and be more for her kid.
When I was younger (and by that I mean between the ages 18-21), I used to imagine myself doing things for my daughter. Like dedicating my first book to her, or dedicating my first movie to her. And now, I just imagine my daughter doing things, creative things, when she's older. Like maybe entering and winning Project Runway. Or performing on stage, very Tracy Chapman like. Not Taylor Swift like (she can't even sing in tune on stage). I really wonder how she will be like. What will intrigue her. I want my child to be creative. I was a creative child. But when I became an adult, working and earning money took priority over everything else. And I kind of forgot how to be creative, you know? All those stories in my head that were waiting to be written down are just very vague pictures now (in my head). All those sounds I used to hear when I used to write songs, just don't come to me anymore.
I would love to design my own dresses. That I can wear with a tudung. I wanted to do that during my jobless "break", but I never got to buying the material and everything. I found out that I just didn't have time to myself when I opted to take Salma out of school. Now that I am starting work again tomorrow, Salma will be going to school full time again. I will miss all the time we spent together... taking it easy and not. The naps we took late morning and afternoon (depending on her mood). And those countless hours watching the sing-a-long dvd while I folded the laundry... Hmmm... I hope I can go back to that one day. Now my mission is to do more so I can earn more for my kid. And give her all that she might need.