I am still losing sleep over Salma not being well. She wakes up more often in the middle of the night now to suckle, and I think it’s more for comfort than out of hunger. She is really starting to be a mummy’s girl. Some time last week I visited my ex-schoolmate, who just delivered a beautiful baby boy. Her first child is a girl, who is now 4 years old. And she, too, is a mummy’s girl. My friend said it’s okay for your kid to be a mummy’s girl (as opposed to daddy’s girl). I used to feel slightly embarrassed that my daughter is super attached to me. But now I’m starting to get used to it. I feel happy now that she’s comforted by me, and it’s so nice how she falls asleep so fast and so comfortably in my lap.
And thank you so much, Rimau Manja for saying that it’s okay to cuddle your babies. I still get hurt or annoyed by people who say that I’m manja-ring my daughter too much. I don’t think cuddling counts as manja-ring. Spoiling your kids is like when you buy them things they don’t need, or over-feeding them, or doing their homework for them all the time. But I think giving lots of hugs and kisses is healthy. And she loves my hugs and kisses. She knows how to clap her hands now, so she will smile and clap her hands when I come to pick her up from school.
Sometimes it's hard though, because ever since she got sick, she won’t let me put her down when she’s asleep. She’ll wake up straight away when I put her down and she’ll start to cry. So even bathroom breaks are tricky for me. She still gets a fever on and off. And sometimes she’ll nurse for more than an hour straight. And I’m not sure if she’s drinking or sleeping.
I really hope she gets better soon, and that she will start to gain more confidence playing on her own if I’m not in the room.