Friday, January 7, 2011

Pangs of guilt

Don't you wish sometimes you could take a break from being a mom? And you know just be yourself for awhile, without having to chase after some small running thing, or feed an open mouth or pick up toys off the floor one after another? And no more of Playhouse Disney and Elmo dvds and Dibo dvds? *Sigh... when will that day come?

I asked Salma to play with her musical schoolbus, and instead of playing with it by herself, she brings it to me. Aiyo. How in the world do you teach kids to play by themselves? I don't remember playing this much with my mom when growing up. I think I never even played with my mom. Seriously. I think I started playing by myself straight away.

I just need some space. I feel so drained. I'm going to have some alone time tonight (keep my fingers crossed) with a girl's night out. A reunion dinner with some friends. I hope no one calls me during the dinner to tell me that little poppet is crying. That just ruins my outing. I will feel like I shouldn't be there enjoying myself (after having devoted my attention to the little poppet for soooo many months). So please little poppet, watch tv quietly with daddy or just go to sleep. Please let me have a good night out with my friends by myself.

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