Friday, March 27, 2009


I was just telling my husband how this woman that was paying in front of me at the cashier at Mothercare gave me such low self-esteem. She was a mother of a 9 month old baby girl (since she was buying a ton of stuff for baby girls at size 9 mths), was slim, had perfect make-up, had on a nice outfit, nice color tudung (hijab), wore a baby belly band that matched her tudung color over her sort-of tight jeans to cover her ass (wish I had thought of this myself since muslim women aren't supposed to wear tight-fitting clothes that show off their butt). She had a huge Fendi handbag (the type of huge handbags that I love), and spent $957 in one receipt and around $800 in another! This lady even had the time to curl her eyelashes and put on mascara. I never ever have time to do this. Ever. Especially now with my baby girl always complaining when I take too long to get ready. Obviously this lady has a maid or a nanny to help her watch the baby while she spends time getting ready to go out or putting on make-up, or when she spends a gazillion dollars shopping. Her top was only EDC but still... I loved that belly band idea... I have lots of short tops, but not like I can fit in them anymore post-pregnancy.

Just before I got married I was 58kg. Now I am... yikes! I rather not say, but still a long way from 58kg. During the last year of Uni, and when I first started working for the company I am working in now, I was 48 kg. Just a few months before that I was 45kg because I worked in a high-stress job (equity analyst). Then my weight ballooned up and down, til the last months before my wedding when I prayed for God to make me lose weight. And He made me lactose intolerant (which I never was before), and I puked up everything each time I ate cheese, chocolate or drank milk.

Now it's almost 6 months after delivery, and sad to say I only lost 10kg from what I originally weighed on my delivery day. Haish. How do ppl do it? I breastfeed daily. I sit on my ass all day in front of a PC just like other new moms, and yet they are still slimmer than me. WTF am I doing wrong man? Eesh.

Now the sad part is my breasts are 2 sizes bigger than pre-pregnancy but have lost their perkiness, and are so gravity-bound that I feel like a grandma. Haish. I really need to work out! But I have no maid, no nanny, and my little girl doesn't let me have any free time whatsoever. Not even to fold the laundry! Which are washed, but sit for 2 weeks in the laundry basket collecting wrinkles.

This is the life of a poor, nanny-less mom who's seen better days...


  1. if i saw that woman not just i'd b envious i'd b suicidal haha. nway, most (normal) women gain weight after pregnancy. so dont worry. if u feel sluggish it shows that maybe ur lifestyle is inactive. but with a new baby and being a 1st time mom i know that it's all too overwhelming. ur breast size is bigger bcoz u'r nursing. so juz b proud! n if u want 2 feel sexy n stylish when u go out. doesnt matter what u wear n what kind of make up u put on just strut urself - in short perasan cantek. it works for me... err sometimes =)

  2. haha! i did the 'perasan cantek' thing until i saw this lady laa... then terus tak jadi no matter what... guess i just realised that i'm only beautiful in my dreams. plus my husband never compliments me, so lagi laa feel ugly.
    dunno, really having a problem with my self-image post-pregnancy. it is totally psychological i know... going through that phase where feel like being a mom is unappreciated. muahaha