Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Mommy's plans

I don't think men realise that moms plan just as much as dads do, and probably even more than dads do. I know my husband will hate it when I mention it, but I do a lot of planning for the future. I was told by two people in particular (my husband and my former boss) that I behave somewhat like a man. For example, when I start feeling the financial constraints, I automatically (well almost automatically, let's say decisively) actively seek another job right away. And maybe I am more extreme than others in that I actually quit my job before securing another one. But I quit the job so that I can save money, and try to salvage as much cash as possible for my daughter, and food, and expenses. The biggest money drainer for me is petrol and lunch. Both are starting to get expensive.

The thing that I find funny is that, quite a number of people have questioned me on why did I quit my job before getting another one. Well, I tell them, I need more money. But you will have no security if you're not working. Well, I say, then that just means I'll have to work harder to find a job, don't you think? And yeah, I think this strategy works well for me. If I put myself into a dire situation on purpose, then I will, on purpose, try my hardest to get out of it. So my job search becomes more urgent, and I will actually get off my ass to spread my resum├ęs around. Compare that to the time when I was retrenched, I really took my time to go about it. But this time, it's bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz (like the bee)...

I dunno about other moms (or wives), but I actually feel a certain pressure to provide more for my family. Is that normal? I hear other women talking about how they pressure their husbands to get better salaries, but then I feel like, why not do it yourself? And no, I'm not saying this to put anyone down (and not saying that anyone is wrong for asking their husbands to earn more), but sometimes I feel that people (mostly women) miss out on the logic of this. If you want more money, and you can't get it from your spouse (or your parents or whatever) then go out there and try to make extra yourself. Doesn't that make sense? You won't need to rely on another person, who will probably have their own commitments to think about before even being able to give you extra cash. Right? Or wrong?

I told the people at the office here that I quit because I needed to make more money. And the first question they asked was, "What about your husband?" And I asked back, "What about my husband?" Well, doesn't he.... ? Yeah, he does, but what he makes he already contributes. So now I need to make more for my own contribution.

Doesn't that make sense? If yes, then why do people give me weird looks when I tell them that? Not that I care what they think of me, but why do they think it's weird that I should want that for myself? Isn't it honorable?

I may just be rationalising or stereotyping, but I get the feeling that most men find it weird that a married woman wants to make more money. Almost as if they feel threatened by it. But they themselves want the same thing, so I don't see what the big deal is. Anyway, I'm just rambling about this, and you probably find me extremely annoying now. But of course I want to make more money and be able to spend more time with my family. I am looking for this dream job that will allow me to do this. And if I look hard enough, I think I can find it. :)


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